I've decided that there are six things that the masses need to survive a pandemic. The first four are:
I know this from personal experience because for the last month, I have searched high and low to find these items and since they are in such high demand, they must be what we all need to survive.
These are scary times aren't they? We have no control anymore... except, it seems, over what we put in our mouths. Is it just me, or does anyone else derive perverse comfort from eating Lucky Charms... at 2AM in the morning? I am definitely exerting the WRONG kind of control. I must STOP THE EATING. I have to remind my primitive self that I live in the 21st century. I do not have to succumb to what appears to be a primal need to hunt and gather Lucky Charms. My rational mind knows I do not have to keep eating in preparation to survive off of my own blubber. But, my primitive brain keeps telling me to stuff my face. Again, I repeat to my brain, these are not caveman times, we have refrigerators and non perishable food yet I instinctively continue to reach out for what is magically delicious. That being said, I do think my primal brain may be correct about my need to stalk chicken, the only food item actually needed to survive in a pandemic. Take note of this because it can only be found in grocery stores intermittently. Seriously people, what is with the run on chicken? I am perplexed. Can't we also be in love with the other white meat? And, did we need a pandemic to stop eating red meat? All I can say is it is a good thing I love steak, I may just have to rethink adding fish oil supplements to our survival list so we can stave off our impending heart disease.
Excuse me please, nature is calling....
Ok, just 20 more secs...
Ok, all clean...
.Is it really such a big deal if we stockpile chicken, toilet paper, hand sanitizer, paper towels and in my case Lucky Charms? I mean, it's not like we are trampling each other. Wait, are we trampling each other? If you are, you must have forgotten the last two essential items on our pandemic survival list; kindness and compassion? They are the two items you will never find in the stores on a shelf. They are only to be found within the shelves of our hearts and are ours to replenish. They are the necessities to retrieve as we engage with cashiers as well as our fellow shoppers joining the hunt for our pandemic items (hopefully 6 feet away from each other and while wearing masks). They are what we need as we interact with our essential workers as well; mechanics, health care workers, receptionists, lawn care workers, plumbers, HVAC technicians, truck drivers, food retail workers, sanitation workers, postal workers, and more. People are grieving, facing their mortality, or are hungry and bearing financial strife, all while some simply worry about pandemic bad hair. It is our kindness and compassion that will allow us to comfort those in need, lend a hand to those who cannot stand up on their own, or point a friend to a YouTube video on how to french braid your own hair (sure cure for pandemic hair); everyone's pain is their own and kindness and compassion allow us to see that.
I think you are now fully equipped to survive a pandemic, if of course you make sure you have your staples. I suspect you do since, TP, paper towels, chicken and hand sanitizer are still out at Target, Walmart and all of my local grocery stores. The jury is out on kindness and compassion. Some of the masses need to go shopping. I have faith that they will.
Pandemic Poetry; Haikus-the last literary item needed in a pandemic. Go ahead and try one of these 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable poems. It will be fun! Here are three examples:
Can't you spare a square?
Then someone else said
Doc Fauci relayed