everyone senses fear- part 1

There is nothing like a good crisis to bring people together. Except if that crisis is a world pandemic where you are discouraged from being less than 6 feet from another person and to boot, commiserating with a fleet of friends, over nachos and pigs in a blanket, during the recent Superbowl likely to become ground zero of a super spreader event.  My goodness,  America is just getting over our last stint with large gatherings and pumpkin pie. But hey, maybe we have evolved... like the virus. Now, you scientists out there are going to have to give me some poetic license.  I do understand the virus has most likely evolved precisely because we have not.  Virus' cannot mutate if they are not replicated, they replicate by spreading and luckily for COVID and its mutations,  the world wants a big Thanksgiving and a house full of Superbowl Sunday.

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There is also nothing like a contracting COVID to force a hard look into the mortality mirror.  I suspect that roughly 108 million people out there can relate. That is the number of diagnosed COCVID cases  since the onset of the pandemic. My diagnosis makes 108 million people plus one. I have joined the He-man-COVID-haters-club (if you are not snickering, google The Little Rascals He-Man Woman Haters Club, and you will catch my reference and a subsequent snicker) In any case, since COVID,  I kind of feel like that unfiltered octogenarian  who says "hey, it's not dementia, I'm old,  I can say whatever I want".  Now that I have had COVID, I have earned the right to be taken in an a-political fashion and at face value. I can say "hey, I've had COVID, it really stinks, wear a mask, social distance, wash your hands and avoid it like the plague it is" and not worry about offending any one political persuasion. COVID doesn't care what party you cater to, and neither do I, I just don't want you to feel as miserable as I do. COVID misery does not deserve company.

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via GIPHY

COVID is scary. It is the dark matter of the virus universe. It is deadly, surrounded by questions and not everyone is sold on its existence. BUT, again, having had COVID, trust me, it is real.   We are in the infancy of understanding transmission, treatments, preventatives and outcomes. So many unknowns surround this plague, that it seems the only commonality we share concerning it is fear.  Fear of getting it, fear of spreading it, fear of  fear of living with it, fear of dying from it. We have lost all control in regards to everything COVID.  We can't just go to the doctor and say "I think I have COVID, test me", anymore than we can ask that same doctor to make a promise - "I have COVID, promise me I will live" - scary times.

People behave badly  when they are scared.  Have you noticed? Children just tend to shriek, cry or if really terrified, shriek and cry at the same time.  Adults are a bit more complicated,  they parade an array of potentially inappropriate  behaviors  all driven by  fear itself.  Do any of these fears based behaviors sound familiar?

• ​​manipulation - convincing your friend to lead the way into the dark, dank basement, first so you can "watch their back".  If you were being honest you would fess up to wanting to be a quick turn closer to the door (escape) with a barrier between you and what lurks in the basement (your BFF).
• Bursts of anger - exploding at your spouse for leaving a banana peel  on the floor. The peel was not the problem, nor was your husband (unless he actually does leave banana peels on the floor and then you have a big problem).  Your fear of having almost broken your neck having stepped on and sailed right over to him  on it was the problem)
• OCD - if you stick to the same routine, ALL the time,  and NEVER stray,  NOTHING can change in your world and there are no surprise scares. 
• Avoidance - the opposite of OCD.  Staying home feigning a sprained ankle having slipped on a banana peel, instead of going to work on the day of your big and ominous presentation.  
• Giddiness - Inappropriate laughter in the face of fear.  Your husband is laying on the floor having slipped on the banana peel he tossed there.  Upon seeing him, you spit out a guffaw before you have a second to check his pulse.  Inappropriate laughter in the face of fear can really get us in trouble... with our spouses.

While we all act differently when fear creeps into our lives, but we do have one commonality.   We all sense fear, for whatever reason - like a terrible year long pandemic.  Recently, I wrote a poem that taught the senses to children as well as gently pointing out that that We All Sense Fear (the title of said poem).  It seems that the poem is particularly poignant now, during a time when we are ever more divided as our fear based behaviors erupt.

• Shouting "SHOW YOUR FACE" while parading through Target - fear of losing basic rights.  Don't tread on me.
• "WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING A MASK?" shouted at the person crowding you in the checkout line - fear of getting COVID
• "BACK OFF JACK!" shouted at that same person crowding you in the checkout line.
• ANTI-VACers - fear of a foreign substance coursing through their veins.

via GIPHY

I wonder what would happen if we sought to raise our emotional IQ just a tad. If we tried to  recognize  fear hiding behind behaviors we find offensive, maybe we could birth a newfound tolerance for the person holding the fear.  Being able to see someone in their true form  might allow us to be more patient and subsequently more of a comfort to them as they hold their fear. Notice, I am not saying work to relieve their fear.  That emotion is too strong, AND by the way, since none of us like to sense fear, it's why it is able to maraud behind other emotions. In the midst of a worldwide pandemic, in the midst of so many people sensing and subsequently exhibiting fear based behaviors, now is the time we need to be smarter, emotionally smarter. 

Everyone Senses Fear is a children's poem, but like most children's stories, it can be enjoyed by all.  I thought it also might be helpful to add a part 2 to this particular blog.  Remember above, I noted that the poem was originally used to teach the senses to children? It has another purpose.  Once children learn their senses, they can then learn how to use them in a mindful way.  Doing so can help us reduce our responses to stress, anxiety and fear. Mindfulness is a great tool for all of us to keep near the top of our emotional toolboxes. So check back or sign up below so you can read part 2 of Everyone Senses Fear.  Learn how to use your senses and mindfulness to  manage fear. Enjoy the poem.  I will also be adding it to  this site's A Peek into Poetry" page.  If you aren't familiar with that page, it is a child friendly video blog page. Have a look-see!